Category Archives: Life Notes

Thought of the day – Greif Scrambles The Brain

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Fact: Greif scrabbles the brain.

Unless you have gone through it (and I do not wish it on anyone), you have no clue what a person faces. No, I am not talking about sitting in the dark and crying like most of you arrogantly preach about. Grief changes a person mentally, emotionally, and physically. The brain is scrambled. Circuits are fried. New pathways will have to be made over time. The person you were is not who you become. As I have said before, Grief has no time limit. Those who say otherwise are arrogant know-it-alls.

To all of you dealing with your own form of grief … like picking up broken glass, you may get cuts and scrapes, and it will not be pleasant … but you can put those pieces together into a new masterpiece. God does see the final work, after all, HE created you. He knows what pieces go where and when to put them there.

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Looks like somebody prayed

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The year was 1989. I had signed up for the Army. I was going to be in training for a year. I was going to be doing a very high security thing. I graduated from high school at the end of May. Three weeks later, I was a passenger in a car crash that …

Mid-way through high school, I felt the calling into the ministry. I was going to go to college and then on to seminary. Well, financially, things did not look good. The weight of the financial aspects was heavy and outweighed what my heart felt. My best friend, out of the blue, joined the army in the fall of 1988. With the weight of financials on my mind, it did not take much for him to “talk me into joining”.

I was all set. I was go ship out 4 weeks after graduation. After basic training, I would be in specialized training for almost a year. It would be an extreme and intense training. Once ready, I would be in a very high-level security position.

It was Monday morning, one of my buddies called me telling me that we were going to Dairy Queen. (Neither one of us had vehicle at the time.) Turns out he had called someone to drive us. The person he called, was not liked much in the community. It was a bit awkward. But, we went.

It has been raining and thus, the roads were very wet. The temperature was great, so we had the windows down. … Bug flew into driver’s face/eye. He could not see briefly. We were going around a curve. The Chevy Chevet ended up wedged in trees in the ditch. (Short back up … I was in backseat, passenger side, my buddy was in front seat and kept reclining the seat back on me … messed up goofball … I had JUST unbuckled my seatbelt to slide to the other side when the accident happened. Where I had been sitting was where the car wedged into the trees. There was about 2 inches of space. Where I had slide to, there was about 2 feet of space.)

I will fast forward … there are things I may fill in later .. but for this post, are not vital.

That evening, doctors did not know if I would survive the night. Out in the waiting room, there were people praying for me. I was told that the room was packed. They were praying for me.

I will shorten this part for now … in the midst of all this … I knew, somehow, I knew people were praying for me. I could hear them. I could feel them.

I was released from the hospital after just two weeks. In the course of those two weeks, doctors said, if I walked again, I would not walk well … doctors also said, it would be weeks before I would be released. Yes, I was released after just two weeks. It was a rough few weeks after, but … I walked. A couple decades later, I walk. And as most who know me, know .. I walk fast. I just do, not sure why.

I come to this song. Somebody Prayed. I focus on this line … Looks like somebody prayed.

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My Words For Today

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While I lived in Jackson, TN, tornados cut throw the region many times over the years. I personally witnessed horrific scenes of destruction. My college Alma Matta (just 2 miles from my home) was almost whipped out in one of those times.

I have had friends lose all they had when wildfires swept through their town in a matter of minutes, in Texas.

I have seen the devastation of flooding and had friends lose what they had to the floods, in Tennessee.

I know of people who have lost their homes because of earthquakes, in Missouri

I know of people who have lost their homes because of Hurricanes, in Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas, Florida, North Carolina, and Tennessee.

I have a friend who, now retired, spent many years leading brave individuals into the whirlwind of wildfires all over the west side of our country. He was most often on my mind when he was working. I worried for him and all the countless men and women in the middle of those fires.

There are still thousands of people without homes because of this year’s hurricane season. There have been wildfires in various places this past year across our country.

Now, the “high profile” focus is on the lower California area wildfires. Thousands more are now without homes.

We take too much for granted. We are not promised tomorrow. We are to live for today. We are to savor the blessings we have RIGHT NOW. Far too many focus on “wanting more”, while thousands … millions have nothing.

Focus should be on helping, supporting, aiding those who have nothing.

A specific call out here … for those of you who claim to be “Christian” … this …

In John 13:12-17, Jesus had just washed the feet of His disciples. He asked them if they understood what he had just done. (v15-16) He said, “I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message.”
Then, (v34-35) “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

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My Take On The Time

Life Notes, Rants, Thought,

Right now, our country is the laughingstock of other countries.

When my mother was carrying me in her womb, there were “complications”. Doctors said that if she allowed the baby inside her to grow through the “normal” birth process, that either the baby or her or both would not survive. She chose to carry me to term. I was a “preemie”. I was born with some health problems. I was in the NICU for a while. I survived … even after a couple of surgeries … I finally went home.

At various times growing up, I had various encounters with playground equipment and my forehead. Each time, I had to be monitored closely for a few days. I survived.

At a point in my youth, I had gotten very ill. (In Hindsight, it was similar to COVID.) I survived.

A week after high school graduation, I was a passenger in a very sever car accident. Doctors did not know if I would make it through the night. I did. Doctors did not know if I would walk okay. I do. I survived.

More than once, in more than one city, even state, I was in close calls with Tornados. I survived.

I have been an “inner city” missionary in Nashville, TN and East St. Louis, IL. I lived in East St. Louis for a cumulative amount of time of over 2 years.

I have been a Sunday school teacher for children of all ages at various times.

I have been part of Puppet Ministries, Drama Ministries, Clown Ministries, Sign Language Ministries.

I got married to an amazing woman I met at college on the puppet team. She was an incredible lady.

I have been on staff at multiple churches. Including being a youth minister. Yes, I went to college to be a minister.

My wife and I wanted children. She had some miscarriages. We found out she could never have children. We were introduced to Foster Parenting. We became Foster Parents. I was a Foster Parent Trainer for Prospective Foster Parents in the State of Tennessee. For a period of, I was the president of the local Foster/Adoptive Parent Association. I had close ties with State Level Children’s Services Personnel.

Our FIRST foster child later became OUR SON! It was a ROUGH 13 months. We faced many challenges. Still do.

Because of various reasons, we home-schooled our son.

My wife died October 2014. We found out 2 years prior she had an inherited auto-immune disease that was slowly destroying her body. Her father died from this a year and a day before she did. She had been in extreme pain that no one knew about because it was NOT her nature to complain. When she died, people we thought were friends, began a witch hunt to attack me … Accusing me of killing my wife was part of it. The pastor of the church led a campaign … calling Children’s Services … calming lies that disrupted our lives. My son lost his mother, 4 months later, he thought Children’s Services was taking him away from his father. THAT can NEVER be undone. That trauma is always there.

Not even a year later, my wife’s sisters called Children’s Services with a long list of lies .. again, we had to deal with Children’s Services.

Side Note, because I and my wife BOTH had been Foster Parent Trainers for the state of TN, we knew all the Children’s Services personnel .. and they knew us. They knew what kind of people we truly were.

Relatives and “family members”, whom I thought I could count on to support us … were doing things behind the scenes to cause long term harm to me and my son.

In the mist of the loss of my wife, I did have a few dear friends go over and above to encourage me. There was a small group (of 4) in the UK. Long story short, these individuals wrote a collective email to me (a small novel) to encourage me. Each of them had faced crazy things in their lives.

When my wife died, it was in the midst of what I called “The Season Of Death”. You see, a dear friend of mine had died April of 2014. That began “The Season”. I had friends and family members passing. My grannie passed that summer. Again, my wife in October. The “Season” Ended came March of 2015. That group of 4 from the UK .. one of them was a young man who had been battling cancer. His battle ended in March of 2015. In all, I had 13 people in my life die in 12 months.

A couple weeks after my wife died, someone else I knew lost his mother to cancer. Prior to this, we were “acquaintances” .. not friends. (I found out later that he had been trying to get me to “bug off” and I did not get the hint.) When my wife died, he saw a different side of me. And, in the midst of this, I was reaching out to him to support him in his time of loss.

Fast Forward 1 year, we started to get to know each other as friends.

Fast Forward 1 & ½ years, he comes to visit me and my son.

Fast Forward a few months, he moves down to Tennessee with us.

Fast Forward a year, I sell my house, and we move to a new one.

Fast Forward 2 years, COVID happened. Lies spread to cover it up. I was helpless as “The List” of people I knew who were getting COVID was growing rapidly. THEN, “The List” of people I knew who were dying from COVID was growing rapidly. Thanksgiving, we both get COVID. I Praise God that my son did NOT get it then.

That summer of 2020, we had gone up to Michigan for one of his nieces’ graduation party. While there, we detoured to my old stomping ground. Where I was born and lived my younger years. A “Ton Of Bricks” Moment happened. I had long felt the pull to move back to Michigan. I hadn’t because we stayed in Tennessee so my wife could take care of her folks. Well, there is where the “MOMENT” happened … I realized that all my “reasons” for NOT moving … had died. Yeah. That was a moment for sure. So, by the time we returned home to TN from our trip, we had decided to get the house ready to sell and plan to move to Michigan.

Short Version, we sold the house in 2021 and moved to Michigan just days before Thanksgiving.

(Side Note: In 5 years to the day, I sold 2 houses, bought 2 houses, moved 3 times … once across country.)

Fast Forward, July 2023, WE got married. Yes. I married a man. Yes, my son lives with us.

Oh, and as it worked out … we also bought a house and moved the month we got married. Yeah, July was an insane month!

Oh, by the way, I continued to Home School my son to graduation. I was OCD about courses. We complete EVERY SINGLE COURSE we started. My son graduated in 2022. He is doing very well too.

All three of us have good jobs and are doing well.

Why did I start with “Right now, our country is the laughingstock of other countries” and then tell you all the things I did?

I do so to give a glimpse of where I come from. What I have seen in my 54 years. This, so you know that what I am saying next, is not because of some “bandwagon” chain of emails or website or social media tangent.

I do know the Bible well. After all, I had several courses in college when I was studying to be a minister. I was taught by various individuals throughout my life to not JUST take someone’s word for it .. but to dig deeper .. to research .. to study into the topic.

There have been countless times that Donald Trump has mocked people for being different. He mocked a man for having physical limitations. He mocked others for their skin color and nation of origin. He has been caught bragging about grabbing women’s private parts. He had Boxes of CLASSIFIED Documents in house residence, NOT the Capital Building. This, itself is a violation of National security. When Puttin started his campaign against the Ukraine, Trump Tweeted his encouragement to Puttin for being a great leader. He tells countless provable lies that insight terror and riots. Not only the rush on the White House, but recently, the terror in Springfield, OH. Because of his PROVEN lies about the residents of that community, there have been multiple bomb threats to various public buildings INCLUDING THREE SCHOOLS. One of these had to be closed for a period. Traumatizing children. Disrupting lives. All because of his lies.

I am flabbergasted how so many people support this man. Jesus is who Christians should follow as example. Jesus never spewed hatred. Jesus NEVER mocked anyone! Jesus commanded us to Love One Another as He Loves Us.

I have seen countless “Little c” christians in recent years. People using the word as a “free pass” to be arrogant, hateful, vindictive, derogatory, boastful, and blasphemous.

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