Category Archives: Life Notes

A Traumatic Detour

Charecteristics, Life Notes, Thought,

You are driving down the highway. You are sailing along on your way to something you just can’t miss. Music playing on the radio. You are singing along. Life is good.

Suddenly, you react before you even realize what is happening. There is an accident happening just up the highway in front of you. You are looking all around to avoid being hit as you slam on your brakes. You come to a sudden stop. Your coffee landed in the floorboard. The cars behind you managed to stop without any more “accidents” happening.

You, along with other drivers, jump out and run to see if there are survivors to be helped. There is a person laying in a pool of blood at the edge of the road. They must have been thrown from the vehicle. There is evidence of a large animal in a mangled mass on the road. You see antlers, it must be a deer. There are now 7 or more people around you and the driver. One person pushes forward saying they are a doctor. You hear crying. More than one person is on the phone calling this in.

After 2 hours, you are back in your vehicle, driving to … where are you going? You can’t go to work like this. OH NO! WORK! You immediately call your boss to tell them what just happened. Your boss tells you to go home and take the day to rest and recover. You are in a daze. You are in the parking lot of a gas station, in your car, covered in blood. You snap out of it and drive home.

You get home, you throw the bloody clothes in a pile. You take a long shower. You feel like you cannot get the blood off. You are thinking now of what you saw. The blood. That person. How are they doing? Will they survive? That is going to be one crazy insurance claim for them to report. What are the odds of a doctor being behind you? What if that deer waited a moment? Would you be the one to have …. Would it have been me? I missed work. My sick days are limited. I had the report to finish. This is really going to mess things up at work. We are already shorthanded. I hope I can get the blood out of that shirt. That was my favorite shirt. The water is cold. I have it on HOT. How long have I been standing here?

Traumatic things happen in our lives. No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves of the contrary, we most often, NOT prepared for tragedy. It comes at us, often, out of “nowhere” as it were. Some tragedies are extremely overwhelming. Loss of a job, weather disasters, death of a loved one.

That day of the accident on the highway was traumatic. It disrupted your routine. It brought about unsettling feelings. It led to horrible nightmares. What you did not know … a mile down the highway from where the accident took place was a bridge you have crossed numerous times going to and from work each day. That day, just moments after the accident you encountered, a section of that bridge you would have crossed collapsed onto the road below it. No lives were lost from it.

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The Multi-Verse Flood of Memories and Thoughts

Charecteristics, Life Notes, Rants, Relationships, , , , ,

Every day, there is “something” that triggers a memory. A memory triggers the “multi-verse” flood of memories and trains of thought. With the memories and thoughts there is the void. The void where someone does not physically occupy any longer. The thoughts of the forced new path now traveled. The heart is flooded with joyful memories, painful memories, the horrid pain of being shattered, the ache of the void. The “multi-verse” of emotions and thoughts come all at once, in a single moment. Grief does not end. Grief does not “go away in time.” Grief is like a new part of your body that you live your life with.

If you do not know what to say to someone who has experienced tremendous grief … Don’t say anything. Being a supporter, helper, FRIEND, is far more than “words“. It is also far more than “deeds“. Being a support includes “just being” there for someone ……..

Sit by the fire. Sip something. Go for a walk with. Go sightseeing with. Watch a movie with. Have dinner with. Avoid getting arrested with (grins). NEVER EVER accuse someone of being WEAK for grieving. NEVER EVER tell someone to “suck it up” when they are grieving. Likewise, do NOT facilitate keeping someone grieving. Help them see they have purpose and value and worth!

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Reality Overload! Brain Dump!

Life Notes, My Life, Rants, Relationships, Struggles, Thought, , , , , , ,

Seven and a half years ago, my wife died. She was one of several people in my life who died within an 11-month period. Life shattering. This totally scrambled my brain. Tore up both mine and our son’s life. I had “friends” and relatives turn on me. We delt with so much crap, including TWO dealings with Children’s Services as results of lies from some controlling/manipulative people.

Over the course of the past 2 years, several people in my life have been affected by COVID-19. I, myself had a (not so) mild case of it. I was actually criticized for saying that I had it. The list of people I know who have died from COVID-19 is ridiculously and painfully long. One of my friends died from COVID … in a hospital room … isolated and alone. And still, countless numbers of idiots continue to harp about the HUMAN DECENCEY of wearing a mask to help REDUCE the spread of the virus.

I have had people who claimed to be friends turn on me. They have made it their mission to spread lies and rumors … all because I caught them in lies. I have cut ties with relatives who do all they can to feed their narcissistic needs. They have sought to spread rumors and sow seeds of deceit and distrust because I would not cater to their whims.

I have fought hard for the well-being of my son. Along the way, people whom I trusted for support proceeded to introduce my son to harmful, health undermining things. Some of these people were “fellow church members” as well. I have sacrificed much to do my best to keep my son safe and help to ensure that he has a good future.

The board of my college alma mater has made a foolish decision to eliminate the Theater Program. This program has been a part of the institution for a century. I spent countless hours of my life involved with this program, even when I was NOT a student. Many people I now call “Friend” I met because of my involvement with the Theater Program. The board made no attempts to seek input from the staff or alumni before they made their decision. I am not surprised they did this. I expected it long ago, actually. Since I started my life at Union University in Fall of 1990, I have seen several “promises” to improve the Theater Program quietly swept away. Promises would be made, then funds would be diverted to other projects. Most often, the Sports Department got the funds. The Sports Department has long been favored. Being a High-Profile source of income for the institution, the Sports Department gets what it wants.

Right now, there is a war in Ukraine. The Russian dictator claims he is “de-Nazifying” the Ukraine. Homes, apartment buildings, schools, hospitals, churches, and cultural centers are his targets. All the while, he insists his troops are only targeting military installations. All the while, countless families are displaced … countless lives are shattered.

I have a friend who just got married in the Ukraine … just a few weeks ago … just prior to the Russian attacks. The very church he was married in is now a shelter for refugees. In Romania, I have friends who are coordinating efforts to build a small “village” of sorts for Ukrainian refugees. I just watched a live video of the progress of their efforts. They hope to provide housing for 25 families. That is a tremendous effort. I have other friends who are involved in the larger effort of overseeing refugee coordination of ALL the surrounding countries. I have acquaintances who either are from or family of people from Ukraine. These families are scrambling to contact their families in the Ukraine.

Yesterday, a friend of mine who lives in Texas messaged me. She and her husband had taken her father to the doctor for a checkup. While they were away from home, they got word that wildfires were ragging toward their home. Their children were at home with their pets. The children were told to evacuate by local authorities. Thankfully, one of them had a learners permit (aka .. just learning to drive). They were able to evacuate safely. Within a few hours, the fire had totally leveled their whole community. Today, they have a pile of ashes where their home stood yesterday.

This is only a few things on my mind right now.

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Comfort Zone … Stability … Security …

Charecteristics, Life Notes, Thought, , ,

How is success measured? What criteria defines success? Who holds the “measuring tape” for success? Who created the rules by which success is determined?

Jesus grew up in the home of a carpenter. Jesus worked closely with Joseph, being trained a skilled carpenter. In their age, children were trained to carry on with the family craft. Society expected Jesus to be a carpenter.

            Jesus grew up to carry on His Father’s purpose, God The Father’s Purpose. Jesus did not do what society expected him to do as the “son of a carpenter” should do. Being a carpenter would have meant that Jesus would have had a stable job to provide for his “future” family.

            Jesus had no permanent home once He began His ministry. Jesus had no “job” to provide a “reliable” income. Jesus spent many nights “out under the stars.” Jesus traveled. Jesus was rather often “on the move.”

By societal standards, what was Jesus’s “comfort zone, or stability, or security”?

            Life is constantly changing, moving. For some, changes are often small. For others, changes are often huge. Yet, for others, changes are random and unpredictable.

            When changes happen (both willingly and unwillingly) society “eyes” may make us feel like we are “reinventing ourselves” with each big change. In actuality, we are either “upgrading” our knowledge or “adding on” a new feature/skill to our lives.

We are always changing. We need to accept that and go forward. We go forward with our “upgrades” and our “add-ons” … joyfully and enthusiastically.

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