Every day, there is “something” that triggers a memory. A memory triggers the “multi-verse” flood of memories and trains of thought. With the memories and thoughts there is the void. The void where someone does not physically occupy any longer. The thoughts of the forced new path now traveled. The heart is flooded with joyful memories, painful memories, the horrid pain of being shattered, the ache of the void. The “multi-verse” of emotions and thoughts come all at once, in a single moment. Grief does not end. Grief does not “go away in time.” Grief is like a new part of your body that you live your life with.
If you do not know what to say to someone who has experienced tremendous grief … Don’t say anything. Being a supporter, helper, FRIEND, is far more than “words“. It is also far more than “deeds“. Being a support includes “just being” there for someone ……..
Sit by the fire. Sip something. Go for a walk with. Go sightseeing with. Watch a movie with. Have dinner with. Avoid getting arrested with (grins). NEVER EVER accuse someone of being WEAK for grieving. NEVER EVER tell someone to “suck it up” when they are grieving. Likewise, do NOT facilitate keeping someone grieving. Help them see they have purpose and value and worth!
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