Category Archives: Struggles

You Are

Life Notes, Music Related, My Life, Struggles, The Story, , , ,

I once worked at a place that worked with people with “life alterations” … some had no voice, some had no sight, some had other challenges they lived with. Colton Dixon released “You Are” in 2013. Part of the lyrics are as follows…

If I had no voice
If I had no tongue
I would dance for you like the rising sun
And when that day comes and I see your face
I will shout your endless glorious praise

This song stuck out to me because of the people I encountered at that place I once worked.

Then, October 2014, I watched me wife rapidly fade away in just over 24 hours in a hospital bed. She had no voice. She was fading fast. This song came to my mind. I closed my eyes and saw her dancing and singing … in the presence of Our Lord. You see, she loved music (she played piano). She loved to dance (barefoot).

This song is one of the songs God made sure I heard. HE knew it was what I needed.

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A NEW Christmas

Charecteristics, My Life, Struggles, The Story, Thought, , , , , ,

For much of my life (decades), August through December had been a full, busy time for me.

From childhood into adulthood, I have been involved in some sort of “Christmas Event”. Be it, a Christmas play, a musical, or something of the sort, I was involved. I have been “main characters”. I have been “singing” (however, not much). Most of my teen and adult years, I have been part of the “technically” aspects of programs.

Having a child, added to the list. We when to Christmas events, parades, programs, etc .. geared toward children.

Then, there was the “FULL ON Busy Time”. August was getting ready for State Fair that was September. This went right into preparing for Christmas Cottage (craft selling event that took place just before Thanksgiving). There was still Church Christmas programs of some sort that added to the business. Decoration for Fall .. Halloween .. Thanksgiving … Christmas (this part was NO small thing for me).

October of 2014, in the middle of the “FULL ON Busy Time”, Lucenda passed away. I stumbled through the rest of the “Time” that year.

I tried to keep things “sort of” going the following year (2015). But, I realized that it was not going to continue. I had to let go of many of the “FULL ON Busy Time” things.

I moved 3 times in 5 years. Once, across country. MUCH has changed in the past 9 years.

This Christmas is … This Christmas is a New Christmas for me.

I taught the “Grief Process” to numerous “prospective resource parents” over the years. I “knew” the “logistics” of it. Now, I “know” much more about it. The “stages” are NOT clearly defined .. they are NOT clearly separated .. they are NOT done and gone once you go through them. Grief is ongoing. It is foolish to believe there is a “time limit”.

All this stated … All this laid out on the table …

Thanks to TRUE loving and caring people in my life, I have been able to move forward.

A New House to decorate very differently than I have for … decades. New environment. Different job situations for us all. My son is 20 (still mentally processing THAT!).

This year is A NEW Christmas.

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