Tag Archives: Moving On

A NEW Christmas

Charecteristics, My Life, Struggles, The Story, Thought, , , , , ,

For much of my life (decades), August through December had been a full, busy time for me.

From childhood into adulthood, I have been involved in some sort of “Christmas Event”. Be it, a Christmas play, a musical, or something of the sort, I was involved. I have been “main characters”. I have been “singing” (however, not much). Most of my teen and adult years, I have been part of the “technically” aspects of programs.

Having a child, added to the list. We when to Christmas events, parades, programs, etc .. geared toward children.

Then, there was the “FULL ON Busy Time”. August was getting ready for State Fair that was September. This went right into preparing for Christmas Cottage (craft selling event that took place just before Thanksgiving). There was still Church Christmas programs of some sort that added to the business. Decoration for Fall .. Halloween .. Thanksgiving … Christmas (this part was NO small thing for me).

October of 2014, in the middle of the “FULL ON Busy Time”, Lucenda passed away. I stumbled through the rest of the “Time” that year.

I tried to keep things “sort of” going the following year (2015). But, I realized that it was not going to continue. I had to let go of many of the “FULL ON Busy Time” things.

I moved 3 times in 5 years. Once, across country. MUCH has changed in the past 9 years.

This Christmas is … This Christmas is a New Christmas for me.

I taught the “Grief Process” to numerous “prospective resource parents” over the years. I “knew” the “logistics” of it. Now, I “know” much more about it. The “stages” are NOT clearly defined .. they are NOT clearly separated .. they are NOT done and gone once you go through them. Grief is ongoing. It is foolish to believe there is a “time limit”.

All this stated … All this laid out on the table …

Thanks to TRUE loving and caring people in my life, I have been able to move forward.

A New House to decorate very differently than I have for … decades. New environment. Different job situations for us all. My son is 20 (still mentally processing THAT!).

This year is A NEW Christmas.

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The Multi-Verse Flood of Memories and Thoughts

Charecteristics, Life Notes, Rants, Relationships, , , , ,

Every day, there is “something” that triggers a memory. A memory triggers the “multi-verse” flood of memories and trains of thought. With the memories and thoughts there is the void. The void where someone does not physically occupy any longer. The thoughts of the forced new path now traveled. The heart is flooded with joyful memories, painful memories, the horrid pain of being shattered, the ache of the void. The “multi-verse” of emotions and thoughts come all at once, in a single moment. Grief does not end. Grief does not “go away in time.” Grief is like a new part of your body that you live your life with.

If you do not know what to say to someone who has experienced tremendous grief … Don’t say anything. Being a supporter, helper, FRIEND, is far more than “words“. It is also far more than “deeds“. Being a support includes “just being” there for someone ……..

Sit by the fire. Sip something. Go for a walk with. Go sightseeing with. Watch a movie with. Have dinner with. Avoid getting arrested with (grins). NEVER EVER accuse someone of being WEAK for grieving. NEVER EVER tell someone to “suck it up” when they are grieving. Likewise, do NOT facilitate keeping someone grieving. Help them see they have purpose and value and worth!

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